I was pleased to see an article in this week’s medical journal, The Lancet, that the drug dapoxetine lengthened the duration of intercourse by three to four times in an American study of 2,614 men, of whom 1958 completed the trial. There is currently no medication on the market for a condition that may affect up to a third of all men at some time in their lives. It can be frustrating for both partners in a relationship, and it can put a lot of strain on a family.
The researchers from University of Minnesota found that taking the drug increases the average duration of sex from less than a minute to three minutes 19 seconds. Up to now, many clinicians have used other medicines “off label,” to try and help the problem, but most of those treatments have carried many side effects with them.
This report leads to two other considerations.
First, is that the field of sexual health is being revolutionized by a new approach. One of the worst problems for many men has been the comparison culture, often fostered by the popular media. There used to be a joke that if a man wasn’t having 2.3 orgasms a week he would feel cheated. But what, exactly, is 0.3 of an orgasm anyway??
The “New View” of sexuality starts with a re-appraisal of what is normal in terms of sexual behavior and also in terms of aging. Trying to standardize sex is the cause of many problems for men and women because it leads to unhelpful comparisons. The “new view” asks a person quite different questions about their levels of happiness with their sex lives. This is a considerable advance on trying to medicalize everything.
The second point is this. For many centuries entire schools in China, India and Tibet have taught natural methods for delaying and enhancing ejaculation, primarily by strengthening and gaining control of the pubococcygeus muscle in the floor of the pelvis. Women have also been taught similar exercises to enhance their sexual pleasure, usually as part of a program of spiritual training. Some of these practices are included in this reading list that I put up at Amazon a few months ago.
It is not difficult to learn these exercises. There is surprisingly little research on these non-pharmacological approaches to improving people’s sex lives, so they are often dismissed by experts. But the fact remains that simple Kegel type exercise can often help people greatly.
I’ll happily detail some of these methods if people are interested.